It's been a long time since I posted on Jim's blog. It's not for lack of thinking about my boy; it's quite to the contrary....I think of Jim the minute I get up in the morning, throughout the day and as I'm heading to bed. I miss him...pure and simple. I realize now after 7 + years that I don't cry as often and the sadness has been replaced by the joy associated with watching my beautiful grandchildren grow, immersing myself in family and friends and knowing that I am loved and cared for; that Jim, too, was loved and cared for while he walked this earth.
There are still times though when something will happen that gives me pause and a bit of a set back. A friend of Jim's will have a birthday, get engaged or married, have a child, take a great vacation, buy a house, get that job they always wanted....all the things Jim will never have. I am so happy for his friends but that doesn't change the fact that it hurts.
What remaining anger I have is focused on the murderer(s). I am mad that someone took his life, and pissed that they felt they had the right to do it. I hate the person(s) that did this to Jim and that will never change. I wish the case would break wide-open. I hope the detective is doing all he can do and he's doing it every day; but, I know that's not how it works and that it is what it is. And, I know that when and if the day comes that the case is solved and justice is served, that it will never be enough for me.
I just want Jim back, pure and simple..
Missing you, Jim...today and always,
Love, MOM
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