Christmas without Jim

Jim, you will be so missed tomorrow, Christmas Day.....one of your favorite holidays. I love you very much and miss you each and every day. Love, MOM

Thankful I am

How thankful I am that I had Jim for 27 years! He taught me much and my memories of him are of happy times, humor and laughter. I hope you, too, will take a few minutes tomorrow to reflect on what you are most thankful for. Remember Jim in your prayers around the Thanksgiving table, and as you eat your turkey with all the fixings, I am sure he'll be eating his favorite dinner....a peanut butter sandwich with a side of chips and applesauce.

Love,
Joanne (Jim's MOM)
Thanksgiving 2010

Precious Moments By The Sea

I joined a grief writing group on line. The instructor is a writer with several books published. The 2nd exercise of the 6 week course is to write a poem that relates to your lost love one. I chose to write about the last time Julie, Jim and I were all together...alone just the three of us...almost exactly one year before Jim's death. I wanted to share my poem with everyone. I really like it and hope you do too. The setting is South Beach Miami, Florida.

Precious Moments By The Sea
by: Joanne (Jim's MOM)

The sun sparkles on ocean waves
Clear, bright and aqua blue
They walk along the lapping shore
Toes covered in a sandy glue

I watch as they walk on
Listen as the stories unfold
Laughter bounces on balmy breeze
They are precious to behold

This memory finds me often
The perfectness of us three
Sealed in my heart forever
Precious moments by the sea

Message from a friend

When Jim was about 10years old (maybe younger, I can't remember), he learned to ski at his babysitter's place at Higgins Lake. He was a natural. I suspect that Jim was skiing right along side of Brooke last weekend.

Brooke is the granddaughter of Jim's sitter, Suzie and daughter of Bruce (Suzie's son) Jim loved Suzie and Dick and their kids: Bruce, Janice and Darlene....and he especially loved going up to Suzie and Dick's cottage at the end of summer every year. I have only happy memories from those days. If I could go back in time, that is exactly where I'd go.

Here's the email I received from Janice today:

Maybe you've already heard but Brooke just learned how to water-ski and it all happened on Jim's ski's you gave Bruce. It was so cool. It only took a few days and now she looks like a pro. Bruce was so proud of her. We were out on the pontoon at Higgins Lake and Bruce and Brooke were celebrating when Bruce said "You remember whose ski's these are?" Brooke said "Jimmie's!" She yelled out, "Jimmie would be so proud!" "Thanks Jimmie!"

It was such a cool moment. It could of only been better if you were there to see and hear! It was an ultimate moment!

Knew you would want to know!

Love ya,

Janice

Neverending Summer

Jim loved the warmth and sunshine of summer. When he was a kid you rarely found him in the house, as if the days weren't long enough and the summer too short. He like Julie, walked early, barely spending any time crawling. He found his legs and took off at a run. I can still see him peeling out (no pun intended) on that yellow banana-shaped riding toy that he just loved as a little guy. He must have had the strongest legs a 2 year old could have because he could make it up the hill in front of our house as quick as he made it down. He was an awesome skateboarder,too, although that did drive me nuts. He was obsessed with it and I always worried that he was going to get hurt. Anyway, I do digress...I just wanted to say that as the summer starts to wind down and kids head back to school I think of Jim and his resistance to summer's end. His dream...to become a beach bum. I guess that's where he is today, running in the sand, enjoying the warmth and sunshine of a neverending summer. Joanne, Jim's MOM

Butterflies in Jim's Garden

Jim's garden continues to bloom. It is so beautiful. I took a couple pictures of a butterfly on the butterfly bush in the garden. Enjoy. Joanne (Jim's MOM)

Blue skies

The blue skies of this weekend remind me of Jim and his beautiful blue eyes. Blue, his favorite color....mine, too, come to think of it. I miss Jim so very much. Today as I was driving home from Ann Arbor and I looked out at the blue skies, I shook my fist, screamed and cried, I just want him back .... I want to know who killed him....I want, I want, I want. I am impatient with God for not answering my questions.

Joanne
Jim's MOM

Guardian Angel

We name our children after people we love, admire, someone from the family tree, or simply a name that we like. Parents often disagree, but once the child is named, it seems as if their name could have been no other.

Jim was not named after anyone. Jim's father said, "If it's a boy, we'll name him Hank!" I hope I'm not offending any Hanks out there, but I quickly said, "NO!" Then one day we were standing in what would later becomes Jim's room and his dad said, "I like the name Jim". So Jim it was! We knew that we needed to give Jim the proper name of James, but from the beginning he was: Jimmy, Jimbo, JimBob, and by late elementary school, he was pretty much just Jim. Among his friends in high school he was Jim and JimmyB.

Jim loved his name. He liked to write it out using his finger in the sand, the snow, the dewy wet car window and in the 'not quite set cement'....especially if he were told not to!

So it gives me joy when others want to remember and honor Jim by using his name in some way. Parker James and William James, Jim Bowerman is your guardian angel....

With love and remembrance today and always,
Joanne (Jim's MOM)

A New Spring

Jim's memorial garden is all in bloom. Life moves on despite what happens around us. I thought I would share a few pictures of the garden with those of you who check in occasionally. Nothing new to report...still trying to get answers.

Mother's Day

The day I became your mom, Jim, was a wonderful day for me. I remember so many great moments of our time together. You were such a sweet child and so dog-gone cute! I sure do miss you. Love, MOM

Anniversary

It's been two years. I miss you so much, Jim. I think about you all the time and today because it is the 2 year anniversary of your death, I cry even harder. Julie and I continue to seek justice for you. We will not give up. Love, MOM

2 years

I had a good day yesterday...despite the knowledge that I'll be in Florida on April 11. Just two years ago on April 14th I proclaimed the end to Florida - other then for the investigation of Jim's murder and hopefully a trial one day, I was through....wasn't coming back! Well that lasted briefly - my dislike still strong and fully grounded, I must 'face the music' and go to Florida for other reasons. It is a warm place - tropical and pretty, full of friends and family, sunshine and people who do care. I found more people who care yesterday. They care that Jim had life and was a contributor to this world. That makes me feel good.

Jim is missed every moment of every day. I get sad easily and I cry often. I pray for understanding and probably will never really understand. I struggle with that. I pray for answers and slowly...very slowly 'tidbits' (as I call them), are delivered.

I dreamt of Jim again last night. I was in a room that resembled a hotel lobby. I thought I saw him at the desk and ran to see him...the man turned, it was not Jim. I walked outside, still searching, and there he was. He was sitting in a chair and we both burst into to tears. We sobbed and held each other. I then woke up. I felt as if we had cried over his death. I don't know the meaning of the dream, but I know how much I love that young man and how much I miss him.

Please pray for answers to Jim's murder. It's been two years, it's time to know.

Love, Joanne (Jim's MOM)

Jim in my dreams

I saw Jim the other night in my dreams. He was sitting in a chair in my new art room. Perfect that he was there since the art room has a large window that looks right out into Jim's memorial garden. He was happy, smiling and dressed in blue long sleeved shirt, blue jeans and had on socks with the gray toes and heals. His eyes were the bluest blue. I was so excited to see him and told him so. He said he couldn't stay long. I bent down and kissed him firmly on the cheek and he gave me a hug. I then woke up. I wasn't depressed that I didn't have more time with him, I was simply elated that I got to kiss him and receive his wonderful hug. A moment with Jim was like sunshine on a spring day....I had a burst of energy and alot of happiness. I plummeted into sadness yesterday but I wouldn't trade that moment for anything - in fact I hope I have more 'visits' from Jim.
Joanne (Jim's MOM)

Thinking of Jim

I'm thinking of Jim tonight. Missing him....wishing I could see him one more time....although that would not be enough, I know. Just anything, something is all I ask.

Mojo in the morning

Julie and I visited the Detroit station 95.5 on Monday and had a very brief reading done on air by highly respected medium, Rebecca Rosen. Although there were others also invited, Jim was the first to push forward...he apparently wanted to be heard! Julie and I really felt Jim's presence and wished he would have said more and that we would have had more time to ask questions. If you would like to hear the message, go to: www.mojointhemorning.com Click on the Listen link and from the dropdown select: listen to podcast. Scroll down to locate the three segments entitled Rebecca Rosen. The one labeled Pt 2 is where she begins with us. If you cannot locate the podcast from the list, look in the archives.

We love you Jim.

Love, Joanne (Jim's MOM)

Julie and I have been invited to be on-air on the mojointhemorning show in Detroit on Monday, February 1, 2010....sometime after 7:30 a.m. We will get a reading done by well known medium, Rebecca Rosen, focusing on Jim's murder. For those out of town you can also listen live through www.mojointhemorning.com - they have a 'listen live' link. Julie was also contacted by the Florida International University journalism department to discuss using Jim's case as a project. We hope to learn more about that soon. We will keep you posted. Joanne (Jim's MOM)

January 11, 1981 - January 11, 2010

Jim's birthday is today. Jim would have enjoyed hearing that it was snowing in Michigan but where he was at (most likely Las Vegas), it was not.

As any mother would say, he was the best and cutest baby....well, he actually was. He was adored by Julie and a bright and shining star to his father and me.

Last year at this time Julie and I were in Las Vegas scattering the ashes of that young man born 29 years ago at 6:53 a.m. in Lansing, Michigan. So hard to believe. This year with the snow falling around me (much to Jim's joy), I plan to visit the cemetary where I will find his name engraved on the stone that also bears the name of my father who died at age 40.

Two precious men, gone too soon. Jim, I sure do miss you, today and always.

Love, Jim's MOM

Jim's Uncle Tim

Jim's Uncle Tim is my brother and also a truck driver. He had someone design a 'traveling billboard' for his truck. The picture is shown here. You may be driving down the road one day and see Jim's photo. It is a horrible thing to have to display, but since the murderer has not been found, it is necessary. Tim lives in Tennessee and travels many of the surrounding states, including Florida.

As always, Jim is missed today and even more then yesterday. Love, Joanne (Jim's MOM)

The Year 2010

Still no answers and we're now approaching 2 years.