Missing Jim

I missed him yesterday, and the day before. He will always be missed.

Thinking of my boy

I've spent the afternoon and evening going through Jim's stuff. His whole life is crammed into a big box in the basement. How could that be?? I continue to look for clues to his death, but the clues aren't there. I often go to bed at night thinking that Jim will come to me with the answer, but he never does. The nightmare isn't going to go away....ever. And, the answers will never come....ever. Jim's MOM

Christmas without Jim

Jim, you will be so missed tomorrow, Christmas Day.....one of your favorite holidays. I love you very much and miss you each and every day. Love, MOM

Thankful I am

How thankful I am that I had Jim for 27 years! He taught me much and my memories of him are of happy times, humor and laughter. I hope you, too, will take a few minutes tomorrow to reflect on what you are most thankful for. Remember Jim in your prayers around the Thanksgiving table, and as you eat your turkey with all the fixings, I am sure he'll be eating his favorite dinner....a peanut butter sandwich with a side of chips and applesauce.

Love,
Joanne (Jim's MOM)
Thanksgiving 2010

Precious Moments By The Sea

I joined a grief writing group on line. The instructor is a writer with several books published. The 2nd exercise of the 6 week course is to write a poem that relates to your lost love one. I chose to write about the last time Julie, Jim and I were all together...alone just the three of us...almost exactly one year before Jim's death. I wanted to share my poem with everyone. I really like it and hope you do too. The setting is South Beach Miami, Florida.

Precious Moments By The Sea
by: Joanne (Jim's MOM)

The sun sparkles on ocean waves
Clear, bright and aqua blue
They walk along the lapping shore
Toes covered in a sandy glue

I watch as they walk on
Listen as the stories unfold
Laughter bounces on balmy breeze
They are precious to behold

This memory finds me often
The perfectness of us three
Sealed in my heart forever
Precious moments by the sea

Message from a friend

When Jim was about 10years old (maybe younger, I can't remember), he learned to ski at his babysitter's place at Higgins Lake. He was a natural. I suspect that Jim was skiing right along side of Brooke last weekend.

Brooke is the granddaughter of Jim's sitter, Suzie and daughter of Bruce (Suzie's son) Jim loved Suzie and Dick and their kids: Bruce, Janice and Darlene....and he especially loved going up to Suzie and Dick's cottage at the end of summer every year. I have only happy memories from those days. If I could go back in time, that is exactly where I'd go.

Here's the email I received from Janice today:

Maybe you've already heard but Brooke just learned how to water-ski and it all happened on Jim's ski's you gave Bruce. It was so cool. It only took a few days and now she looks like a pro. Bruce was so proud of her. We were out on the pontoon at Higgins Lake and Bruce and Brooke were celebrating when Bruce said "You remember whose ski's these are?" Brooke said "Jimmie's!" She yelled out, "Jimmie would be so proud!" "Thanks Jimmie!"

It was such a cool moment. It could of only been better if you were there to see and hear! It was an ultimate moment!

Knew you would want to know!

Love ya,

Janice

Neverending Summer

Jim loved the warmth and sunshine of summer. When he was a kid you rarely found him in the house, as if the days weren't long enough and the summer too short. He like Julie, walked early, barely spending any time crawling. He found his legs and took off at a run. I can still see him peeling out (no pun intended) on that yellow banana-shaped riding toy that he just loved as a little guy. He must have had the strongest legs a 2 year old could have because he could make it up the hill in front of our house as quick as he made it down. He was an awesome skateboarder,too, although that did drive me nuts. He was obsessed with it and I always worried that he was going to get hurt. Anyway, I do digress...I just wanted to say that as the summer starts to wind down and kids head back to school I think of Jim and his resistance to summer's end. His dream...to become a beach bum. I guess that's where he is today, running in the sand, enjoying the warmth and sunshine of a neverending summer. Joanne, Jim's MOM