October 12, 2008

I was going to write yesterday but couldn't. While Jim died 6 months ago, the pain still feels new. 6 months ago today I was celebrating my daughter's birthday and enjoying watching her run around with all of her friends while reflecting on how fast she had grown. Everything seemed in place and we had a wonderful day celebrating with her. Then the phone call came, and my world came crashing in. Jim was gone.

I remember the words and feelings as if they were yesterday yet I, as everyone else, has had to go on with their lives. There are happy and sad times, yet Jim is never far from my mind in both. I know in my heart that Jim would want nothing more then for us to continue on, remember the good times with him, and keep focused on creating more good times.... however difficult this may be.

I can still hear his voice in my head, calling me at a late hour at night. I can still imagine him living his life, always concerned for and caring for others. I will still look for the funny, inappropriate cards on my birthday and holidays. While I know that he isn't out there, won't be calling me or sending me a card... he will be in my head and my dreams.

I will miss him always...

Julie