Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Jim

How surreal it was to watch the video of Jim's unsolved murder aired right here in Lansing, Michigan. Although the segment was the same one aired in Miami in September - one of which I viewed on line - seeing it on my TV set, on a news program that I watch almost every night, was extremely difficult. This is such horrible unending nightmare.

The three J's experienced much joy, laughter and fun in April of 2007 as we set out to find and move Jim into an apartment in N. Miami. Why is it that one can't keep that joy, the laughter and funny moments for the rest of their lives?...why taint them with death, murder and torture. I just don't get it.

Jim, today as always, I miss you. Love, your MOM forever

Monday, November 9, 2009

Time keeps marching on

It seems that solving this mystery of Jim's murder will be the 'neverending story' of my life. I remember sitting at the kitchen counter the morning after finding out Jim was gone and suddenly realizing that Jim hadn't just died, he'd been taken tragically. It was just dawning on me then, the date of April 11, 2008 - how I envision it anyway - would play over and over in my mind and in my dreams for the rest of my life. That's the shock of murder I guess and that's the horror of being the mom of a murdered child. Time has marched on but there is not a day where I forget those first moments of pain and relive them and feel them all over again. I want so badly for Jim to have a 'do over' for that day, or at the very least, I wish I had been there to shield him and spare his life. I miss you Jim. Please speak to me in my dreams...I want to know and I want justice for you. Love, MOM