Monday, April 10, 2017

Nine years and still no answers

Jim, everyday I think of you: your infectious laugh, that big dimpled smile and your sparkling blue eyes. I miss your phone calls (still remember your cell phone number - still have it in my phone); I miss your sense of humor and the cards you'd send me for my birthday, Christmas and Mother's Day.  I loved your hugs and miss them so.  There are times when I hear you say, "I love you Mom" and my heart soars, only to sink when I realize you're not standing there.  I see you often in my dreams but I think not often enough.  I loved having you for those precious 27 years and so wish I could have had you forever.

It's been nine years since you departed and it feels like yesterday.  How can it really be nine years? I haven't seen nine years of action by the police department investigating your murder - I mean, shouldn't it be solved by now?!  Shouldn't justice have been served and answers given??  People are quick to tell me that they've heard of cases taking 20 + years to solve...as if somehow I should be satisfied with that and say, "Oh okay, I just have to be patient and wait then".  Patience has never been my strong suit and taking 20 + years to solve a murder is wrong on all levels.  I won't give up hope for justice Jim, but it sure is hard.

I hold your memory close to my heart always.  I miss you and love you till the end of my time.


Love,
MOM


Monday, January 11, 2016

Happy 35th Birthday

Happy Birthday favorite son,
sweetest young man and cute dimpled boy.  I love you and miss you.  Cannot believe you would been 35 years old today!

Love, MOM

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Pure and Simple

It's been a long time since I posted on Jim's blog.  It's not for lack of thinking about my boy; it's quite to the contrary....I think of Jim the minute I get up in the morning, throughout the day and as I'm heading to bed.  I miss him...pure and simple.

I realize now after 7 + years that I don't cry as often and the sadness has been replaced by the joy associated with watching my beautiful grandchildren grow, immersing myself in family and friends and knowing that I am loved and cared for; that Jim, too, was loved and cared for while he walked this earth.  

There are still times though when something will happen that gives me pause and a bit of a set back.  A friend of Jim's will have a birthday, get engaged or married, have a child, take a great vacation, buy a house, get that job they always wanted....all the things Jim will never have.  I am so happy for his friends but that doesn't change the fact that it hurts.

What remaining anger I have is focused on the murderer(s).  I am mad that someone took his life, and pissed that they felt they had the right to do it.  I hate the person(s) that did this to Jim and that will never change.  I wish the case would break wide-open.  I hope the detective is doing all he can do and he's doing it every day; but, I know that's not how it works and that it is what it is.  And, I know that when and if the day comes that the case is solved and justice is served, that it will never be enough for me.

I just want Jim back, pure and simple..

Missing you, Jim...today and always,
Love, MOM

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Friday, October 31, 2014

It's your MOM's birthday!

Another birthday for me, another one without you, Jim.  You are missed, loved and forever and ever in my heart. 

Monday, April 7, 2014

Now it's been six years.....

April 11th, 2014 - six years since Jim passed away at the hands of a murderer. Six long years with no answers and no justice for Jim. I love you Jim. You are missed each and every day.

Friday, January 10, 2014

33 years old on January 11, 2014

Seems like yesterday that Jim couldn't understand why Julie was sad when we dropped her off at her dorm on the U of M campus. She was homesick and had tears in her eyes, and he was like, "I don't get it, you get to do whatever you want...you're free...I'd love to do whatever I want, when I want." Of course he really didn't understand that Julie wasn't all that free, but from his high school teenager point of view, that's how he saw it. At age 27, Jim achieved ultimate freedom. This was not the kind of freedom he was thinking of...certainly not the kind I ever envisioned for him. My sweet boy is gone - I will always want him back. Jim would have been 33 years old tomorrow, but for us he is forever 27. You are missed, Jim and we love you. Happy Birthday. Love, MOM

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Thinking of Jim

Not a day goes by that I don't think of Jim. Missing you Jim. Love, MOM