Pure and Simple

It's been a long time since I posted on Jim's blog.  It's not for lack of thinking about my boy; it's quite to the contrary....I think of Jim the minute I get up in the morning, throughout the day and as I'm heading to bed.  I miss him...pure and simple.

I realize now after 7 + years that I don't cry as often and the sadness has been replaced by the joy associated with watching my beautiful grandchildren grow, immersing myself in family and friends and knowing that I am loved and cared for; that Jim, too, was loved and cared for while he walked this earth.  

There are still times though when something will happen that gives me pause and a bit of a set back.  A friend of Jim's will have a birthday, get engaged or married, have a child, take a great vacation, buy a house, get that job they always wanted....all the things Jim will never have.  I am so happy for his friends but that doesn't change the fact that it hurts.

What remaining anger I have is focused on the murderer(s).  I am mad that someone took his life, and pissed that they felt they had the right to do it.  I hate the person(s) that did this to Jim and that will never change.  I wish the case would break wide-open.  I hope the detective is doing all he can do and he's doing it every day; but, I know that's not how it works and that it is what it is.  And, I know that when and if the day comes that the case is solved and justice is served, that it will never be enough for me.

I just want Jim back, pure and simple..

Missing you, Jim...today and always,
Love, MOM

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It's your MOM's birthday!

Another birthday for me, another one without you, Jim.  You are missed, loved and forever and ever in my heart. 

Now it's been six years.....

April 11th, 2014 - six years since Jim passed away at the hands of a murderer. Six long years with no answers and no justice for Jim. I love you Jim. You are missed each and every day.

33 years old on January 11, 2014

Seems like yesterday that Jim couldn't understand why Julie was sad when we dropped her off at her dorm on the U of M campus. She was homesick and had tears in her eyes, and he was like, "I don't get it, you get to do whatever you want...you're free...I'd love to do whatever I want, when I want." Of course he really didn't understand that Julie wasn't all that free, but from his high school teenager point of view, that's how he saw it. At age 27, Jim achieved ultimate freedom. This was not the kind of freedom he was thinking of...certainly not the kind I ever envisioned for him. My sweet boy is gone - I will always want him back. Jim would have been 33 years old tomorrow, but for us he is forever 27. You are missed, Jim and we love you. Happy Birthday. Love, MOM

Thinking of Jim

Not a day goes by that I don't think of Jim. Missing you Jim. Love, MOM

5 Years

The word anniversary always used to make me think of special events, like the number of years a couple has been married or how many years on the job.  You celebrate and go, "Wow, what an accomplishment!"

These past several days in Florida..first the walk/rally and then the meeting with the police department has been one that I can't easily describe.... so overwhelming, the love..the caring..the exceptional gift of answered prayers.  Thank you God, for all of it!

Having family and friends with me not only held me up but assured me that I am not alone on this journey.  Knowing that the police do care and want justice for Jim gives me the strength I need to put one foot in front of the other for the rest of my life.

Tomorrow is the 5 year anniversary of Jim's death, but tomorrow I will choose to celebrate that I had this wonderful young man for 27 years...and, "Wow, that was special!"

You are loved and missed Jim. Love, Mom

"Our Hearts for Jim" Walk for Justice

Jim, I will be Walking for Justice for you, on April 7, 2013 in Florida. I know you will be watching over me and Julie and all those who participate in this walk. I hope and pray that answers come our way, and justice will be served. I love you Jim, Mom