Christmas without Jim

It's hard to imagine another Christmas without Jim. As a kid he was always so much fun to watch as he unwrapped and enjoyed all his presents. The electronic/noisy gifts were his favorite.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you, Jim. All I want for Christmas is to have you back. Love, MOM

Candlelighting Service

Last night I went to the candlelighting service at Eastminster church in East Lansing. How wonderful it was. You choose a candle to decorate and then its lit during a beautiful ceremony where you announce the name of your loved one that has passed. It's emotional and difficult to do, but it's also a way to say "Jim Bowerman" out loud....as if to say: he mattered, he lived on this earth, people miss him, he made us happy, we love him. Think of Jim today, he loved you, too. Joanne (Jim's MOM)

Thanksgiving

These day I view thankfulness with the 'eyes wide open' approach - I've been down that rough and horrific road and I can certainly choose to stay on it or I can take the high road where there is optimism and hope and be thankful for what I have and had.

I am thankful for Julie, my grandkids, my health and each and every day that I am given the opportunity to help someone else in need. I cherish the young son that I had for 27 years and am forever thankful that I got to have him, even though time was way too short.

God has given me much to be thankful for. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

Joanne (Jim's MOM)

Jim

How surreal it was to watch the video of Jim's unsolved murder aired right here in Lansing, Michigan. Although the segment was the same one aired in Miami in September - one of which I viewed on line - seeing it on my TV set, on a news program that I watch almost every night, was extremely difficult. This is such horrible unending nightmare.

The three J's experienced much joy, laughter and fun in April of 2007 as we set out to find and move Jim into an apartment in N. Miami. Why is it that one can't keep that joy, the laughter and funny moments for the rest of their lives?...why taint them with death, murder and torture. I just don't get it.

Jim, today as always, I miss you. Love, your MOM forever

Time keeps marching on

It seems that solving this mystery of Jim's murder will be the 'neverending story' of my life. I remember sitting at the kitchen counter the morning after finding out Jim was gone and suddenly realizing that Jim hadn't just died, he'd been taken tragically. It was just dawning on me then, the date of April 11, 2008 - how I envision it anyway - would play over and over in my mind and in my dreams for the rest of my life. That's the shock of murder I guess and that's the horror of being the mom of a murdered child. Time has marched on but there is not a day where I forget those first moments of pain and relive them and feel them all over again. I want so badly for Jim to have a 'do over' for that day, or at the very least, I wish I had been there to shield him and spare his life. I miss you Jim. Please speak to me in my dreams...I want to know and I want justice for you. Love, MOM

My birthday

My birthday is on Halloween. Jim loved that day...not because it was his mom's birthday necessarily, but more so because he just loved Halloween and everything that goes along with it. He would have devised a costume this year, he would have taken the night off from work and he would have found a Halloween party somewhere to go to. I will miss the birthday card and hearing about his costume and night of fun. I just miss him so much.

No word

Just to let everyone know, we've heard nothing. It's all very disheartening. Someone is walking around free but hopefully it's a miserable existence.